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Svatá bible pivní
Aktualizováno ( Pondělí, 31 prosinec 2007 )
 

Napsal Administrator, v 31. 12. 2007, 17:37

Publikováno v : Hlavní sekce, První kategorie


Na počátku všeho bylo Pivo. To Pivo bylo u boha a ten bůh byl Radegast. Bohovi již se nechtělo pít samotnému i stvořil v několika málo dnech rostliny. Když jim ale bůh dal Pivo, rostliny zemřely. I stvořil bůh zvířata. Ani zvířata nechtěla pivo pít, a tak nakonec stvořil dokonalého tvora k obrazu svému - člověka. Dokázal chlastat od rána do večera a od večera do rána. To vše viděl ďábel Voda a když tak jednou spadnul bůh i člověk pod stůl, otevřel člověka a dal mu játra, ledviny, žaludek, a co je nejhorší i mozek. I dostal člověk kocovinu, zvracel a zvracel a pozvracel celý ráj. Tím však porušil jedno z nejdůležitějších Přikázání a musel být vyhnán na Zemi. Protože je však Radegast milosrdný, dal člověku znalost vaření piva, kvašení a destilace. I přišel člověk na zemi a rozmnožil se (už ani neví jak, byl totálně mimo). Lidé pak postavili mnohý pivovar, vinný sklep i lihovar, aby bylo na Zemi všem dobře. První Pivní Ústava Zemí Koruny České

"Každý je strůjcem svého života vypití až do dna"

"Žízeň je v zásadě neuhasitelná. A když ji uhasíš, stejně si dáš ještě jedno."

"Pij za vlast, posílíš sám sebe. Na mír se v této fázi vyprdni."

"Jakmile se host objeví v hospodě, během několika vteřin před ním musí bezpodmínečně sát pivo."

"Je přísně zakázáno rušit hospody IV. cenové skupiny."

"Každý hospodský musí bydlet přímo v hospodě, aby mohl kdykoliv občerstvit své žíznivé spoluobčany."

"Každý pivovar svému odběrateli dodá jednou měsíčně soudek piva zdarma, aby byl čím zapíjet guláš, který připravý hostinský rovněž zdarma."

"Spotřební daň z piva je nutné vracet zpět obcím ku jejich rozkvětu, zvláště pak ku zvelebování hostinského zařízení."

"Ve všech hospodách zakazuje se hovořit, kecat i žvanit o práci a politice."

"Každý, kdo se ocitne v nouzi, má právo vypít jedno pivo denně zdarma na náklady obce, která nikdy nesmí být v nouzi."

"Stát musí provádět takovou politiku, aby se průběžně se zvyšováním kvality piva snižovala jeho cena, a to ve stejném tempu, jako se s postupným zkracováním pracovní doby musejí prodlužovat otevírací hodiny pohostinských zařízení."
   
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